People change, they're aware of that. Also, real world experience is much, much more valuable than taking classes. You got kicked out of the house, sorry about that, but what does that mean here?
Did it motivate you? Did you learn a lesson that's applicable to this situation? You failed Computer Science, and pharmacy school the first time around. What did you take away from those experiences? Why did you learn to appreciate the thing you'd lost in the first place?
What is different about Pharmacy school now, or your outlook on it? Finally, you're going to make things a LOT easier on the people who are vouching for you if you write an essay that impresses others. They won't be put in the position where they have to explain why they thought it'd be a good idea to admit someone who dropped out or was kicked out of school twice before. They can point to your essay and say "here, read this.
If anything, it's more ammo for someone to use when speaking on your behalf. Originally posted by socialmischief: You've given me some good ideas about how to rework it, and still address my previous shortcomings. I still think it's not bad for a 12 minute writing job. Which is what this was. I used to work for a test prep company doing their charity work -- we helped kids get into college.
I've seen a lot of essays, so allow me to tell you: Do not go over words. I can spot, and so can the admissions people, a too long essay. In the business, this is called a "vanity essay.
In many schools, the essay will do one of two things: Grab their attention and get you the spot rare. Sit in your file until the file ends up in the "accept if we have enough space" pile. There, it will be compared with other essays from exactly equally qualified applicants. Since it didn't grab them enough the first time around, they will be looking for reasons to chunk your file. Suggestions for the essay: Mention your feelings once and then stop talking about them, unless they change.
More than that looks like whining. Cut to the point. Remember, these people will have read thousands of these things, and are impatient. Give them what they want.
Start in the middle of the action, specifically, "My father kicked me out of the house and told me not to come home without a job. Don't talk about how things were hard -- this is obvious from the getting kicked out sentence.
Show not talk about how your interest in Pharmacy was coming together as your personal world was falling apart. Be sure to print it; editing the printed word is better than on the computer screen. With some aggressive editing, this can be a very good essay, and come in under words.
Big Grin Which is what this was. I wish I'd known that before I spent my own fifteen minutes critiquing it. Given your contacts and established reputation, I think this essay has more chance of talking you out rather than in to the school.
If you are trying to make a point and that's all you care about, knock yourself out. If you care about getting in, write a more standard essay focusing on the positive. Originally posted by Plutocrat: You must be one of those poor, unfortunate souls who thinks paying people by the time they spend at their job is superior to paying them for the value they contribute.
Would it have been better if I'd labored for hours? No, chances are, the essay would have been worse. I sat down, and it just came out. You spent 12 minutes on your essay and it shows and you expect ars to write it for you. I guess you expect to "barely squeak by while doing as little work as possible.
Originally posted by Sulvar: Wow, you're so awesome Sulvar. Really, I think we need more posts just like yours to drive that "you suck" message home. I think most people would rather hire or accept someone that tries rather than someone that thinks they are brilliant but can't be bothered to care.
I would argue that a pharmacist needs to be someone that works hard more than someone who thinks they are intrinsically smart. Funny, because I got several PMs from people that thought my essay was awesome.
PS- It doesn't show. You're just being a little Internet cunt. In a forum as big as Ars, there's always room for one more Internet cunt. I wouldn't care one way or the other. Originally posted by sweetpepper: It was one of those times where you just start typing and all of a sudden you're done.
Then I looked over it, edited about a few pieces, and posted it here. Really there's no point polishing something if it is fundamentally flawed in the first place. Given your background, I'm sure you can relate. That's what I was looking for here. Overall direction -- not fine-toothed editing. Because I'm sorry, but I can probably do that better than most of you, given that writing is what I do.
And yes, my blog is in my resume. It's not a feature piece, however. I think I might have to re-work my resume to give it some more emphasis. If i was reading that, there is no way I would accept you. It's just that you give the impression that you never finish what you start, you have a record of failure, you are lazy, and frankly, the sudden admission that pharmacy is what you love, right at the end, doesn't fit with much else that you've written there, and sounds phoney.
I think my advice would be to scrap that essay completely, and start again, this time with more emphasis on why you would be a good candidate for pharmacy. Intelligence, responsibility, meticulous care about what you do would seem like important characteristics, none of which are shown in that screed. Write about the work you've done in the pharmacies you've worked at. Obviously you have something going for you there, but you barely mention it. The Embrel bit is good - as someone else pointed out already, start from there.
With less emphasis on being a habitual screwup I get the feeling that you are thinking writing an essay like that would be 'different', and would stand out from all the boring essays that just say safe, positive things about the applicant, but i think it will backfire.
It makes you sound like either a genuine failure who doesn't even realize how his record looks to others, or an arrogant smart-ass who thinks that he is so awesome that will get accepted despite submitting such an apparently self-scuttling essay.
Neither is good, especially the latter, which, unlike the former, has the additional benefit of insulting the person reviewing your application. Well if the writer intends something, but the reader doesn't pick up on it, the writer has failed. Since I'm getting mostly "it's too negative" feedback, I will rework it around the positives and repost in the near future. Thanks again for all your feedback. And to those that told me via PM that they liked it just the way it was. You got the message I was trying to convey, but if the majority do not, then the point is moot.
What did you learn from fucking up and flunking out? Originally posted by aoeu: Proofread my pharmacy school application essay? Ars Legatus Legionis et Subscriptor. Mon Aug 27, 9: Mon Aug 27, Mon Aug 27, 6: Tue Aug 28, Tue Aug 28, 4: Tue Aug 28, 6: Tue Aug 28, 8: Tue Aug 28, 9: Tue Aug 28, 1: Jan 6, Posts: Jun 22, Posts: Wingfooted "Postatem obscuri lateris nescitis.
Sep 10, Posts: Sulvar Ars Tribunus Militum Registered: Apr 12, Posts: Mar 4, Posts: Mar 13, Posts: Marek Ars Praefectus Tribus: I'm not an expert, but I play one on the internet.
Jul 22, Posts: Mar 23, Posts: Jun 24, Posts: Daneel Ars Legatus Legionis Tribus: Nov 29, Posts: RawCode Ars Praefectus Tribus: May 8, Posts: Between here and now. Nov 25, Posts: Jan 31, Posts: Dec 7, Posts: Thank you so much.
I am a writer and this is the first day I read your sharing and I am so glad for that, thank you dear Puthy Ken, I used to teach students from Cambodia and I know that you work very hard. I'm glad you are continuing your studies and I wish you the best! Thanks for your sharing. It helps me much to do my assignment of MA course in Cambodia.
I am one of graduated students here are really need more documents in this our developing country. I'm so glad that my essay helped you. Keep up with your writing. The most important thing is to practice doing some writing every day! Virginia, my name is Amanda and I am 15 years old. Thank you so much for these advantageous information, and your sample essay?! It was really amazing!!! Hi Ginny--I'm so glad to hear of your teaching to seniors, and especially the fact that you are teaching them reflective writing.
I've also called it personal or memory writing when I've taught it in the past. I think for seniors this sort of writing is so valuable because it allows them to gather memories and reflect on the meaning of events in their lives.
What a legacy for them to leave for the younger members of their family. My mom just passed away this week and she was not a writer, but my cousin and I got together with her a couple of months ago and they talked together while I wrote down what they said. That sort of memory writing is a wonderful legacy for grandchildren.
Please remind your seniors that even though children and grandchildren may not be interested in hearing about memories, there will be a time in their lives when they need that strength and the lessons from the family past. I have taught writing in elementary school for at least 18 years and now that I am retired I have been asked to teach a group of seniors about writing.
The reflective writing is one I have done but never called it that. Thanks for all the clear cut ideas to help me be successful teaching it to this new group. I feel sure they will have so much to say! Thanks for taking the time to let me know that my work is helping homeschoolers. I have many friends who homeschool and they are often concerned about teaching writing correctly. That is one of the reasons I've posted my personal instructions for my own college students.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge. I am a home school mum and this will really help my son with writing a reflective essay. Thank you so very much! Deliberately well explanation of the term "Reflective Essay" with many good points to be induced in the writing, like feelings, observations etc. I will try to write a reflective essay and for sure, try my best to adopt your instructions. I love teaching Reflective Essays because it helps my students to understand that writing can be personally meaningful.
Many of my students are at turning points in their lives and thinking about lots of important decisions. I teach them that writing down their thoughts and feelings often helps them to clarify what they are thinking. Virginia, congrats on HOTD! I never heard of reflective essays before. This is so interesting and useful for those to explore your own emotions in expressive writing on your ideas, hopes and dreams. Awesome hub dealing with the many salient features, uses and importance of reflective essays in day-to-day life of so many fields of people.
It is very useful and informative. Thanks for sharing this valuable information and congrats on the HOTD award. This is very useful and valuable to teachers and students. I only wish I had this guide when I was in high school. Some great advice here for writing a reflective essay. This will really help my daughter with her essay writing skills. Voted up and useful. Grand Old Lady-you are so write that teaching can be very tough in the trenches. A lot of it depends on the students you are teaching and the attitude of the administration.
I am very fortunate to teach at a wonderful Christian University with many inspiring students. You gave some very helpful tips and prompts on reflective writing. I also loved the video. It reminded me of my own teaching days and helped me to re-connect with the idea that teaching is a noble profession.
It's oh, so true but when you get into the daily battle of it, it can be so easily be forgotten. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages and Hubbers authors may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others. To provide a better website experience, owlcation. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.
Topic Ideas for a Reflective Essay The above subjects might have already sparked an idea of what you would like to write about. Places You've Been The beach, mountains, countryside, or desert A special hideaway or special room The house you grew up in A relative's home Life-Altering Events A special date Failing or succeeding at something A time you learned something new A new experience A time you overcame one of your fears An important memory A significant conversation Recurring or Significant Thoughts A dream or daydream A conversation you wish you had or something you wish you had done A story you've told about yourself An embarrassing moment The person you'd like to be A strong emotion Impactful Experiences A book, movie, T.
Introductory Paragraph Your first paragraph should be an introduction in which you identify the subject and give the reader a general overview of the impression it made on you. Your introductory paragraph should also included a thesis statement that will serve as the focal point of your paper.
I realized it was because the beach had always been a place of rest to me. Then, write about why. This is a reflective essay, which means you can speculate. There are no right or wrong answers in this type of essay. In the second body paragraph, write about the second reason your subject made the impression on you that it did.
In the third body paragraph, write about the third reason your subject made the impression on you that it did. Conclusion Recap your thesis statement and the reasons you provided in the body of your essay.
Sum up your article with some final thoughts on your subject, and some closing reflective thoughts. Now, I want to find a way to help Rhonda have a day off of her own, and I'm hoping someday we can take a trip to the beach together.
Choose a Topic Idea If you haven't been assigned a topic and don't have a topic in mind, check the list of topics above for inspiration.
Study Your Subject Depending on your topic, you may need to close your eyes and remember, read, watch, listen, or imagine. Brainstorm Write down everything you can think about your subject. Pick Reflection Questions Read through the list of reflection questions below and select at least three you want to answer.
How did I feel about this? Why did it make me feel this way? How was my experience of this unique to me? How did others who were there experience it differently? How has this changed me? What might I have done differently?
What is the meaning of this event in my life? How is this similar to something else that I've experienced? How can I use this to help someone else?
How does this event relate to the rest of my life? How is this typical in my life? Was this a good or a bad thing for me? How did this experience foretell things that would happen later? Was my experience the same as someone else's or different? What skills did I learn? How can I apply what I learned to my life? How can I apply this experience to my studies? How can this help me in my career?
What about this experience challenged me socially? In what way did this expand my understanding of my own culture? How was this emotionally important? How did this experience relate to my understanding of theology, God or religion? What questions did this experience make me have? How has this changed the way I think? How has this made me realize someone else was right?
How was this unexpected? Or how did this fulfill my expectations? Would I want to repeat this experience? Would this experience be the same if I did it again?
How did this affect me and why? Why did I have the reaction I did to this? Answer the Questions You Selected Read your questions, then answer them. Example What did I notice? Couples walked hand in hand.
Parents played in the sand with their children. I saw the holes in the sand where I knew sand crabs were scrambling to hide.
I noticed the cool wind on my face and the homes right up against the sand. I'm usually too busy helping her or spending time with relatives. This trip, however, a friend of mine named Rhonda, who is also a caregiver to her mother, told me to go to visit the beach for her. As a native Texan, Rhonda has only gotten to visit the beaches in California a few times. So today, I w ent to the beach for Rhonda.
I smelled the beach air and walked along all by myself and took an hour to not think about responsibilities to others. Then I wrote "For Rhonda" in the sand and took a picture of it. When I went through the struggles of growing up, I remember feeling soothed by the waves.
They always seemed to keep on going. That reminded me to not give up. To know that there is always something to look forward to ahead. To remember that laughter and tears are both a part of everyone's life.
To me, the waves reminded me to have faith in a God who is in control of everything and has a bigger purpose for me than I can imagine. Identify the Meaning of Your Experience Before you can begin writing your essay, you need to decide what is the most important thing you learned from this experience. Sample Essay If you'd like to see the final essay I've written using the pre-writing exercises I've done for this essay, take a look at my Reflective Essay Sample on a Visit to the Beach.
What Is the Purpose of a Reflective Essay? Literary This type of essay asks you to summarize and then respond to a piece of literature in order to understand it better and relate it to your own life and experiences.
Professional Teachers, doctors, and social workers often use this type of writing in their training. Medical students write about patients they see. They can use this essay type to carefully describe the patient and the thoughts they have as they determine the correct treatment. They can reflect on how well they interacted with the patient, and draw conclusions on what worked and what didn't so that they can better interact with patients.
Doctors can use reflective essays to fine-tune their ability to provide effective health care in a caring manner that makes patients not only believe them, but also follow their advice. They can reflect on how well their body language, words, and tone of voice convinced the patient to make good lifestyle choices, or how well they helped a patient deal with difficult medical information.
Nurses and medical assistants write about their care of patients. By thinking back on different cases and their own responses to patient requests, nurses can better understand how they can help patients deal with pain, stress, and illness. This sort of writing can also help nurses deal with the stress of the emotions they must handle from both doctors and patients, and help them understand their role in helping both.
Teachers benefit from writing about experiences in teaching, and doing case studies of difficult students. By reviewing their emotions about their teaching and examining patterns of what worked and did not work, teachers can better plan their lessons and solve problems with student learning and behavior.
Social workers can use this kind of paper to help them analyze the environment and problems of their clients. They can also encourage their clients to write out their experiences in order to help them see the causes and effects of their behavior and circumstances, as well as to see ways they can change.
Business people use this type of written assignment to analyze their interactions in a business setting, and to help them envision how they can better present their service or product to customers. Educational Sometimes instructors will ask students to respond to a lecture or other school assignment so that they can show what they understand. Personal Growth This kind of writing can help you learn how to understand and analyze your own life experiences.
Reflective Essay Question What experience is most meaningful for you? Going to the beach, mountain, or other place in nature. Spending time talking with a friend. Having someone notice something you've done. You should always have a What did I learn? How did this change me?
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